Pete's Blog

Conclusive proof of life after death

2005-12-31T13:03:00.000Z

If I ex-ist there must have been a time when I was "ist ". I am no longer "ist" therefore I ex-ist. The only way I can cease to ex-ist is if I become "ist" again. Since I have no intention of doing so and have no idea what it is then I can never cease to ex-ist.
QED

A Christmas Prayer

2005-12-25T21:40:00.000Z

Christmas is a time, a season, a holiday.
Time to be with family, to give and receive, to eat and drink.

Jesus the immortal become mortal.
Jesus the infinite become finite.

Houses festooned with lights.
Shops filled with things.

Jesus unadorned.
Jesus emptied of all.

Nativity scenes with shepherds, kings and animals.
Pantomimes with dames, principal boys and villains.

Jesus utterly dependent.
Jesus able only to breathe.

Snow scenes, reindeer and robins.
Dozens of cards on a string.

Jesus.
Jesus Christ.

Santa’s grotto, elves and fairies.
Sleigh bells, fir cones and paper chains.

Jesus
O Jesus.

Hearts adorned with festive cheer.
Minds filled with busyness.
Covering the dark recesses of loneliness, fear and disappointment.

To the one who knows. To the one who was a child. To the one who bore our pain.
We unwrap our hearts to expose the gift that lies within.
Who else would accept our gift?
Who else would accept loneliness with gratitude?
Who else would accept fear with rejoicing?
Who else would accept disappointment with hope?

And then in the deepest darkest corner is our grief, our desolation, our desperation. You will not accept that as our Christmas gift, so we do not offer it. It remains lurking until another Christmas and we pack the tears of another year on top.

Jesus.
Disappointed.

Is our gift not good enough?
Did you want something else? Or someone else?

Jesus.
Light of the world.

No, not there, don’t go into the darkness. You won’t like it. You won’t like me.
I asked you not to, yet you did. You saw the depths of despair and were not consumed.

Jesus.
Redeemer.
Jesus.

Christmas is a time to receive.
Jesus.

Confessions

2005-11-02T13:25:00.000Z

Did you know you can read the Confessions of St Augustine online?

Purpose driven emergent?

2005-10-11T12:09:00.000Z

A friend for whom I have a great deal of respect has suggested that there are strong links between the Emergent church and the 'Purpose Driven' movement (Rick Warren, etc.). To my mind the two are very different and I can't imagine where such links might come from. I've asked my friend to explain and he's promised to do so when less busy, but I can't wait - anyone got any clues on this?

The cost of education

2005-10-11T12:01:00.000Z

My daughter, Charissa, has started her midwifery course at Southampton University. Needless to say everything is ridiculously expensive. The university have, however, found a way of extorting even more money from parents and friends. They very kindly put a phone in every bedroom so you can call your loved one direct. The downside is it's an 0870 number which is described as 'national' rate, but is excluded from all such deals as BT's 5.5p for up to an hour evenings and weekends. It's also excluded from cheap deals from voip providers etc.
Which is why I'm delighted to have found saynoto0870.com which offers alternative numbers for everyone who tries to extort money from you in this way. If you have to call a helpline or know someone at university give it a try first.

Why?

2005-09-05T12:08:00.000Z

Haven't written much lately.
Could be something to do with having been on holiday.
Could be something to do with returning to the necessity of consigning mother-in-law to a care home for those with dementia.
Could be something to do with having to take on her dog.
Could be something to do with accompanying wife to care home and being assaulted for an hour with a barrage of accusation and recrimination. (How does she cope with this every time she visits?)
Could be something to do with not having anything to say any more.
Could be something to do with being bored of the whole church / alternative / simple / emergent / etc. thing. It all requires too much effort.
What good has a lifetime of church attendance done mother-in-law? No-one from the church she used to attend faithfully has bothered to ask after her, let alone visit her.
When the mind goes, so the personality changes. So what constitutes the person? What lives on after death? The person we were or the person we become as our brain deteriorates? What, after all, actually matters?
I begin to realise that if anyone comments on this it is very unlikely they will have understood what I'm trying to say. Dear commenter, I'm not actually trying to say anything, just feeling guilty for not having written anything for a while.

What I know

2005-07-18T13:28:00.000Z

Some reading this title will be expecting a very short post. I'm not sure how long it'll be, that's why I'm posting it.
One thing I know is that the older I get, the less sure I am of things. At one time or another in my younger days I have been sure of most things. Often I've been sure of the opposite of that of which I was previously sure. (That sentence is a logistical nightmare). I'm now in a state where I'm happy not to know things. It's much nicer because you don't have to be right all the time and it means you can be surprised. Being surprised is fun, and you can be surprised by an idea. The idea doesn't have to be right, it just needs to be worth thinking about. You don't need to think about it until you get the right answer, just until it stops being fun.
Here are some of the things I'm sure about. I don't know if I'll stop being sure of them when I'm really, really old, but I'm sure of them now:

There is a God.
God is bigger than I've ever imagined.
God is much kinder and nicer than I imagine.
I can't tell God what to do.
At the end of the day, God will surprise me.
I can't tell God how to deal with me, much less other people.
I feel better if I try to do good things and treat other people well.
Religious arguments are not worth having.
If you try to follow Jesus, everyone will try to stop you (especially church people).
Loving people is one of the few worthwhile things to do.
Table tennis is lots of fun.
Young people get a bad press, but if you get to know them they're really quite nice.
Getting old is no fun if your mind goes first.

There are probably other things I know but can't remember. The list gets shorter as the years go by, but at the moment I can't imagine any of the above disappearing from the list.

2005-06-16T12:12:00.000Z

So this is me according to the quiz on Quizfarm :

You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this.

Emergent/Postmodern

75%

Classical Liberal

68%

Modern Liberal

64%

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

61%

Neo orthodox

57%

Charismatic/Pentecostal

36%

Roman Catholic

36%

Fundamentalist

25%

Reformed Evangelical

18%

To be expected I suppose, but "Classic Liberal 68%" ??????

Love your enemy

2005-06-16T11:35:00.000Z

I saw the TV programme "Big Ideas that changed the world" where Desmond Tutu spoke about Christianity. He majored on "Love your enemy" as being particularly distinctive and how this aspect of his faith helped him cope with his struggle with apartheid. He spoke simply and passionately and came across as one who has suffered and overcome by virtue of his unswerving following of Jesus Christ and his principles.
I find it interesting to remember that apartheid was in force during the first half of my life and it wasn't that long ago that segregation was in force in the USA. Now, of course, things are very different in the UK and there's almost a fear of noticing that someone is different. Whilst I'm glad that discrimination no longer exists (or is supposed not to) I'm disappointed that we have become afraid of celebrating our differences. When I visit another country I like to experience the culture and enjoy finding the differences. It is possible to experience a sense of wonder when faced with a culture that is very different from ones own. I wonder if the curse of political correctness was a reaction to something that was bad and wonder if we're ready to move beyond that to being able to celebrate our differences.

Simple church conference

2005-05-17T14:43:00.000Z

We were involved in a sort-of-conference about 'Simple Church' at the weekend. About 20 of us gathered to learn from some Americans who are setting up such networks in Spain.
On Friday evening we experienced a Simple Church gathering, then on Saturday morning we talked about it, what it meant and what we had learned.
The encouraging thing is that we are already doing it. The thing to think about is how we strengthen networks with others doing similar things.
The key thing that defines simple church is the lack of hierarchy - no employees, no buildings, no overheads, shared leadership, just really simple. Gather and let everyone bring something according to who they are (according to their gifts would be a more conventional way of putting this).
Can such a lack of structure emerge from a traditional church? I doubt it, there is too much de-programming to go through first. The traditional evangelical reason for doing things is always for growth and evangelism. Simple church is not like that, it has to be an expression of those who are part of it. It's not a 'good idea', an evangelism tool, or even a new structure, it's simple, it's real, it's me and it's you trying to follow Jesus together as best we can.

Can't think how they missed this one....

2005-05-15T09:08:00.000Z

A very rich man came to Jesus and asked "Lord, what should I do?". Jesus answered him "Verily I say unto you," (he said that so that people reading about it later would know it was him) "Put one foot in front of another, get down to the bank, take out all your money and give it to the poor."
So the man spent the rest of his life placing one foot precisely in front of another. When people asked why he was walking like this he said "It's what Jesus told me to do, and my secretary wrote it down, so now it's biblical!"
He didn't go to the bank, his fortune continued to grow and he avoided the poor at every opportunity.
But he did what he could, and that's all anyone can ever ask of you, isn't it?

Where the hell?

2005-05-05T12:49:00.000Z

Either no-one's out there or no-one wants to express their view of hell. Actually I had one e-mail from a friend who sort of said 'Yes I believe in hell, but I don't know what it is'.
I want to suggest why no-one particularly wants to talk about it - I don't think anyone actually believes in hell.
I suspect some who might read this will protest. To those I would suggest that they consider their eternal destiny very carefully. Consider the biblical passages that deal with judgement - you will note that judgement is based not so much on what you believe but on your actions (sheep and goats is but one example). So you believe in the eternal torment of the unregenerate, and the God who instituted this punishment is going to judge you. Your task (and you chose to accept it) was to do everything in your power to help your friends, relatives, acquaintances, enemies, in fact everyone you come across, to avoid the eternal flames. How have you done? How have you spent your time? How many words have you wasted? How many times have you spent valuable seconds on your own pleasure? Can you afford to sleep more than a couple of hours?
So, how will you fare in the judgement? Will you score better than 50%? What will be your punishment? It will be meted out by a supreme being who decided on eternal torment for those who refuse to believe. What will be the punishment for those who did believe but didn't do enough about it? Can there be a worse punishment than eternal torment?
So, I don't really think you believe in hell. Maybe I'm just stirring the flames, maybe it's because I'm just recovering from a nasty virus, but I don't think you do, really.

What the Hell?

2005-04-24T19:45:00.000Z

If anyone's still out there, I'd be interested in some opinions. Do you believe in hell?

Post-Tenebrae comment

2005-03-29T15:44:00.000Z

Well, it went well. As simple as we could make it, yet profound and a spiritual experience. The only technology used was to provide sound effects at the end of some of the readings. After the last candle was blown out and it was fairly dark, the talented Tammy played 2 verses of "When I survey the wondrous cross" on her flute. That was the moment it all came together for me. The whole thing lasted 45 minutes.
More than 20 people attended which surprised me. Overall I think it was well worth doing and was good for us as a group to work together in this.

Tenebrae

2005-03-11T11:22:00.000Z

So we're going to put on a Tenebrae service on Easter Saturday. It's the first time the group we still call Third has felt able to do anything public since the original group went various ways. We'll use the Maybridge church hall and run from 8pm to about 9pm or earlier. It's a contemplative service where 8 candles are blown out after each of 8 readings, leaving the hall in darkness and the sound of a closing tomb. The whole thing is preceded by communion.
The beauty is it's simple. It doesn't require months of preparation and can be deeply meaningful. It'll be interesting to see if anyone turns up............

Bizarre Moments

2005-03-04T10:11:00.000Z

Just one of those bizarre moments that occur once in a while.
I was talking to a female colleague who had her phone on speaker whilst waiting for one of those awful 'dial n for x' systems to find someone for her to talk to. She explained that it was a women's clinic to which she was trying to sell some equipment. She told me that the system had just given her the option to dial 15 if she wanted to make a sperm donation! At that very point, loud and clear from the speaker came the words "Please hold".................................

Can the church progress?

2005-03-01T09:07:00.000Z

I attended a meeting last night at the church to which our group is loosely connected. First time I'd been in the church building for a while, good to see some old friends. The meeting was something to which a number of people were specially invited to explore how the church can form new congregations practising new forms of church. As always I try not to get my hopes up with these things therefore I was not disappointed. The meeting consisted of about 30 people sitting in a circle with about 40% saying something and the leader of the meeting trying to distill their comments into one line on a flip chart. The emphasis seemed to be to fit everything into headings relating to accountability, responsibility, etc. The only thing I might have found upsetting was that Third was used as an example of how not to do things. I was not upset because I expected it and can see that most people have not even begun to understand how much we put into the group that was Third and how much the remnant of Third means to us now. It is a lifeline, an opportunity to share God and everything He means to us in an environment that doesn't judge, have hidden agendas or expectations; an environment that accepts and loves the people that we are; an opportunity to explore meaningful ways of worship. Sounds like church to me.

Children and new forms of church

2005-02-23T13:17:00.000Z

Having briefly discussed last night how 'emerging' forms of church can cope with children and young people, I can begin to see a little clarity on the subject. I had been concerned that groups such as Third would be seen as rather exclusive and could only cater for a particular type of person. Having been heavily involved in the past with children's and youth work in the church I was particularly concerned about how they would fit into the sort of group that Third has become. A quote from a book on Postmodern children's ministry helped to crystallise a thought.
I don't think we need Sunday school (that wasn't what it was about in the beginning anyway). I don't think we need youth groups. What I think young people DO need is friends. They need friends who will be honest, caring, trustworthy and loving. They need to relate to a community that is willing to share its experience and resources honestly and generously. (Ideally this would occur within a family). We need to move away from the expectation that young people will be 'taught' Christianity. We need to begin to trust them and to trust God. We need to move very far away from the unspoken premise that 'We'll arrange some fun activities if you'll behave in the way we prescribe and perform publicly in a particular Christian fashion'.
Some who read this will ask 'So what will you organise for them, how will you cater for them?' Ask the same question of the current Third group as far as the adults are concerned and I would still have difficulty answering. I suppose I'm saying that it's the duty of such a gathering to encourage those friendships and make its resources available. It is not its duty to dictate how that should occur, and what form it should take. It is essential that we move away from inflexible structures. I am very inflexible about that. For the moment I shy away from saying that we should move away from structures altogether, but I may be saying that tomorrow.

Soul saving

2005-02-21T12:55:00.000Z

I heard a very sad story on Desert Island Discs at the weekend. Here is the BBC's summary of the interviewee:
"Sue Lawley's castaway this week is Britain’s most popular writer of historical fiction Bernard Cornwell. His work has sold more than five million copies in nine languages. His most famous character is the rifleman Richard Sharpe – an embittered, slightly villainous career soldier whose fortunes are followed through the late 18th century and early 19th."
Bernard was adopted by a fundamentalist Christian family. His adopted father's only interest was in "saving his soul". As this was never achieved he had no relationship with his father. There were times when he very much wanted to respond but it never came true for him. I found it extremely sad that a relationship could be destroyed because a child could not respond in the way that had been defined. I know there are many families where standards of "Christian" behaviour are defined and children ostracised if they cross the line. I just find it so sad that relationships are wasted because of this and could get quite cross at whoever started this whole "fundamentalist" thing.

What to do?

2005-01-21T13:11:00.000Z

Jen made a comment on Nick's blog that I have edited below:
"I dont understand why you all just talk about all these topics, all the time...I havent read the blogs for ages because to be honest they often make me feel a bit hopeless....But is anything happening? Has anyone started anything off the back of these?..... maybe sometimes you just cant know what the right or wrong thing is and you just have to do it?"
I recognise the frustration. I am the sort of person who likes to get on and do things, and enjoy overcoming the hurdles. When you get to a state where you just can't cope with forms of church that currently exist, your first reaction is OK, let's do it differently. But what does 'differently' mean? For many it simply means the style of music, but when the not coping goes deeper than that you have to think about different fundamental structures. When you look at altenative structures they all seem to end up with the same problems, so you dream of having no structures at all. You try this and it seems to end up in a bunch of people turning up and having a chat, and you start to think 'Surely church must be more than this?'
So what do I need from 'Church'? Should I be asking 'What can I give to Church? How do you get past the point where a group of friends meet for a chat? Do you need to? How do you do something that's of use to people in different circumstances, or is it OK to have a 'Church' for people who are in similar circumstances.
My considered opinion having been detached from mainstream church for some time now is "I don't know". I care that I don't know and would love to find some way of working it out. At the back of my mind I have the awful suspicion that if I did find a way it would, in the end, be just like all the other ways that have been tried. My best option at the moment is to get on with life as best I can, and find opportunities to spend time with friends (old and new) who are happy to talk about God now and then. So please, come and talk to me about Him and about you, it's the nearest I can get to church at the moment.

3 interesting thoughts

2005-01-05T09:08:00.000Z

Number one:
"Every single random, accidental death is something that should upset a faith bound up with comfort and ready answers." So said Rowan Williams in response to the Asian tsunami. How sad that it should be interpreted by the Sunday Telegraph as the Archbishop of Canterbury doubting his belief in God.

Number two:
A recent survey found that British people don't so much actively not believe in God, rather there is a general apathy - people can't really be bothered to put enough effort in to find out whether or not it's worth believing.

Number three:
The British people have been incredibly generous in their giving to the disaster relief funds.

Put all these together and we get an interesting view of Britain. We are not inspired by politicians or religious leaders. We are willing to stand up and be counted when there's a cause worth standing up for. Are we just too comfortable and well off so that we have become lazy in thought and enterprise? A poll of Radio 4 listeners came up with a recommendation that Bob Geldof is the person most worthy of being made a peer. Is this an indication that we're just waiting for a charismatic personality to come and tell us how to fix things? Is this a dangerous situation?

Christmas Church report

2004-12-28T15:07:00.000Z

Pretty much as ghastly as I thought, but sometimes our preconceptions turn out to be self-fulfilling.
A couple of redeeming features -
I said I'd settle for just one person being Christ-like, and I was not disappointed - the lady on the door who welcomed me and kissed me and really meant it.
The other redeeming feature was the carol sheet that included the line "Chris is born in Bethlehem" - oh the joy of letting one's mind wander on such thoughts!

Christmas Cathedral

2004-12-23T09:00:00.000Z

My family and I went to the Christmas service at Chichester cathedral last night. We had applied for tickets (free) a while ago, but still only qualified for a seat on the side where you couldn't see anything. The music and the choir were very good, and I suppose the readings were done well. Many of the carols were old english and unfamiliar to me, but i enjoyed listening to them as they were different. I would have preferred to be able to see some of what was going on.
The really disappointing thing for me was that I found the whole thing completely unmoving.

Christmas Church

2004-12-22T13:45:00.000Z

I haven't been to a 'proper' church service for a long time now. My children have decided that we're going to church on Christmas day. A friend commented last night that I'll be able to see it from the viewpoint of someone who doesn't go to church, and I certainly will.
So what do I find scary? (I actually do!)

Parking and people watching me walking to the building.
Crossing the 'threshold'.
People saying they haven't seen me for a long time with the implication that I should have inhabited their space.
Not being able to find a seat for us to be together.
Being expected to 'do' things.
Communal singing.
Being ignored.
Not being able to comment.

Pretty pathetic really, but having spent so long in an environment where people don't understand why others don't come to their church, it probably serves me right and is good for my soul.

The Exclusive Church

2004-11-29T09:03:00.000Z

There is so much talk these days about inclusiveness that it crossed my mind that it's about time we saved ourselves a lot of hassle and admitted that churches are exclusive institutions. They meet for a purpose - it may be expressed as 'to worship God' or it may be as simple as 'to get to know one another', but there's always a purpose behind a meeting. Anyone whose behaviour thwarts that purpose will be excluded. Try standing up and asking questions in the middle of a sermon in your average evangelical church! Try preaching at a social gathering (no, actually, I've seen it happen, so that one doesn't count....), but you get my drift - it's all about expected modes of behaviour. Conform and you'll be accepted, don't and you won't. In fact this applies to most gatherings, not just churches, but I just wonder if a lot of heartache, discussion, time and effort would be saved if churches were to accept that they are by definition exclusive institutions. I don't think it matters if you're post-modern, emergent or whatever, the disallowed behaviour is just different (the person who insists on answering all the questions for example).

Qualifications

2004-11-19T08:34:00.000Z

Following a recent discussion I am left wondering what qualifies as a new (or different) form of church. It was suggested that the qualifications were one or more of a list that included:

Meeting on a day other than Sunday
Meeting at a location other than a church building
Finding ways of worship other than singing
Finding ways of discovering other than preaching
Meeting around food or a film
etc............

I pointed out that the group of which I'm a part does all of these things but is thought of only as a small group within a larger church rather than a different form of church. Why doesn't it qualify? Is it too small? Well, the size limit is defined by the location, which is one of the qualifying factors for being different. Is it that some members of the group attend Sunday services? Well, their desire to serve and resource other forms of church should be seen as a positive outcome enabled by the different form.
I think the difference is more fundamental. The qualifying factors above are superficial and reflect the practice - they do not address the ethos, the underlying thought processes, the 'generous orthodoxy' to coin a phrase. What is the difference? I don't think I can articulate it in such a way that it would fit on a page - maybe others can attempt it!
Is it possible to conduct a different form of church whilst still associated with a traditional church? Will those in the traditional form ever understand where you're coming from? Does it matter?
Anyone fancy addressing the many question marks above?

Unsettling

2004-11-12T09:17:00.000Z

Took a look at the blog of an Iraqi woman which made me feel sad. Also heard on the radio this morning some stuff about how Bush was basically elected by Evangelical Christians. I don't think I want to be tarred with that brush any more. Reminded of a quote from the film Saved! when one character threw a bible at another - 'This is not a weapon!'
I try not to say too much on Iraq as I know I'm not well informed. This will be a rare exception. I feel that it is wrong. I feel that killing so many people is wrong. I feel that there is no humility and no love in what is being done, therefore It cannot be 'Christian'. I don't have any answers to the problems but I see no evidence of Christianity in what is being done by a President elected by Christians supported by a Prime Minister who claims to be a Christian. I see only arrogance and vengeance and greed.

Bizarre Purity

2004-11-11T11:19:00.000Z

I came across this quote from an article about sexual purity amongst teenagers:
"We'll ask something like, 'Can you raise your hand to praise the Lord without showing off your belly?"
There's some good stuff in the article, but the quote is a good example of how the language of the Christian sub-culture can descend into the bizarre.

Community

2004-11-05T14:00:00.000Z

Don't you just love it when you read something that ties in with what you've been thinking and trying to express for some time? Brian McLaren talks about community in 'A Generous Orthodoxy' in the chapter on Anabaptists. He says something along the lines of:
Churches are keen on community. Seriously busy people try to add it onto their busy lives as they do membership of a health club (that they join and never use). It's an add on. Anabaptists (e.g. Amish / Mennonite communities) undertand that you have to START with community. It involves your whole life, the land you live on, your work, your relationships, your passions, etc.....
It's something I've been trying to articulate for some time. Simply in saying that you have to start with it I think he has grasped the essence of what community is about. Home groups, life groups, reality groups, whatever we call them always seem to end up being an add on, something else to go to, however helpful we may find them. They are always secondary to the main 'worship' meeting. Having extracted myself from that main gathering (or rather being unable to force myself into that mode) and being unable to come up with an acceptable model for something else, I wonder if this whole community thing may be one of the keys to the answer. Lifestyle changes would need to be radical, but wasn't that what Jesus was about? Western people seem not to be able to start thinking along these lines, it is so alien to us. Where do we start? The one thing I'm sure of is you can't do community on your own.

Wide or narrow?

2004-11-01T16:06:00.000Z

OK, this is getting a bit like an obsession, but I looked on the IMDB message boards to see what other people thought of the film Saved!. There are several message threads consisting of Christians arguing with people who would not call themselves Christians. There is such a huge culture gap that the same arguments just go back and forth. Each has their own prejudices and narrow viewpoint. It makes me wonder if part of the duty of a Christian is to offer a wider viewpoint, not a narrower one. Perhaps the retreat into a closet of Christianity (I think I mean the evangelical sort) has been a move in exactly the opposite direction from that intended.
I begin to think back to the time when I was involved in running a Crusader youth club. We would take a few minutes at the end of each evening of fun and frivolity with the aim of getting the youngsters to take away just one new thought. No hard sell, no preaching, just trying to stretch the mind. It seemed right, and maybe there was more to this than we realised.
The popular view of Christians seems to be that 'we' try to get other people to swallow the whole thing accompanied by some magical instant transformation. That's true in some circles. I don't think it's right however; it just results in arguments about Leviticus which the critics seem to have read more thoroughly than the Christians.
So, is there anything in the thought that the job of the Christian (please don't start quibbling, I know it's not the only job or even the prime job) is to attempt to help people to widen their viewpoint, and that the tendency in the recent past has been to narrow our own?

Saved!

2004-11-01T13:32:00.000Z

I received the DVD of the film Saved! on Friday. I loved it!!!! Set in an American Christian High school it's mostly about 4 main characters. Macaulay Culkin can actually act - he plays a 'differently-abled' student whose sister is the ultimate Christian (played by Mandy Moore). Their friend (Jena Malone) is sort of the main character - she gets pregnant because Jesus tells her to try to help her boyfriend who has discovered that he is gay.
That's probably confusing enough; you've just got to see it. My daughters tell me I like chick flicks too much for a man, so don't blame me if you don't like it, but I found it amusing, touching and inspiring. I admire the producers for daring to make such a film in America. The stunning thing is that all the things that make you cringe actually happen - I've seen them all.
Go see it, or come round to my house and watch it so I have an excuse for seeing it again.

What sort of Jesus?

2004-10-26T13:08:00.000Z

I've been continuing to read McLaren's 'A Generous Orthodoxy' and I like the book more every time I pick it up. I'm trying not to rush it so that some of it sinks in.
A couple of comments stand out. He suggests that if Jesus were to arrive nowadays the 'church' would probably still crucify him. He also suggests that if Jesus were to knock on our door we would consider him an impostor, simply pointing to our 'buddy' Jesus who's already sitting on our sofa drinking our beer, watching our TV and eating our pizza.
These comments in isolation seem designed to inflame, however in context they make sense. Is Christianity all about me, or is it about God, history, and a story of unrequited love? Is salvation all about me, or is it more universally encompassing than that? Is it important to be 'right' or is it more important to love, give and wonder?
I am tempted to ask the question 'Why doesn't God answer prayer?' and answer it with 'Because we might think we were right', but it would be seriously misunderstood. I would expect two responses:
Firstly from those who find it necessary to defend their view that God always answers prayer and one way or another make it my fault.
Secondly from those who take the view that God doesn't care to intervene these days.
Still, it might be fun to see if there's a response...........

Introspection

2004-10-05T10:29:00.000Z

I've noticed of late that the most ordinary events seem to take on extraordinary importance in this strange Blog world. Too much introspection must be a bad thing - but of course no-one has to read it! Does it mangle our minds when we think it worth rambling on about mundane things? Does it mean our life is so comfortable we haven't got enough real issues to concern us?

History by success

2004-09-30T13:50:00.000Z

First reflection from reading half of chapter 0 of Generous Orthodoxy:
History tends to get written by those who win! I never got on with history at school so I've not thought too much about it, but it's probably true that those who win the battles tend to write the history. This applies to doctrine and creed as much as anything else of course, so we lose knowledge of the arguments and divisions that occurred when these things that have been received into Christian culture as sacrosanct were debated. Maybe some of the objections had some validity, maybe some of my objections to the way things are nowadays are simply a re-hash of centuries old objections. In fact I'm pretty convinced that is so. The thing is the church survives the centuries despite terrible mistakes. I guess my emphasis must be on trying to discern what form that church will take in the years to come and to find my part in that. I'm trying to hang on in there, folks.

Generous Orthodoxy

2004-09-28T09:32:00.000Z

Just received Brian McLaren's book. Read the preface and introduction last night and am looking forward to reading chapter 0!!
There is an interesting table comparing the particular emphases of different versions of Christianity, and I'm sure this book will provoke a few entries here. It's been a while since I've felt enthused about a book like this.

Christian sub-culture

2004-09-23T08:21:00.000Z

Having wittered on the other day about commercialism, Christian media, etc. I was struck by the following in an article about myths in youth ministry.

Does this explain where the whole sub-culture came from? Is it all YFC's fault?????? Whatever happened to the word 'petting'?

Using the powerful evangelical concept of witness, the leaders of YFC managed to mobilize and protect young people at the same time, although this success came with some hidden costs. Youth for Christ leaders condemned dancing, rock music, drinking, smoking, going to the movies, petting, and going steady.

But they cast the negative task of avoiding these activities as a positive way to be a powerful witness for Christ, thereby making an impact on the world. Youth for Christ sermons, films, and magazine articles made much of teenagers who stayed pure by avoiding dancing or other contaminations and through their witness "won" their friends to Christ.

Like virginity, a pure Christian witness could be easily lost, but not easily restored. YFC member Jerry Oas advised young people to avoid even the religious songs that made it to the top 40 charts in his day because these songs could "draw Christians into a place where they would not go and to do things to ruin or cheapen their testimony."

On the other hand, Christian teenagers demanded a fair exchange for all of their abstinence. The leaders of Youth for Christ found themselves providing alternative forms of entertainment, such as banquets (complete with "kings" and "queens") to substitute for the prom and Christian records, movies, and celebrities to substitute for worldly ones. In the process, they legitimized an entertainment-oriented version of Christianity that later infiltrated the Evangelical church as a whole.

National Depression

2004-09-21T13:31:00.000Z

Heard an interview with an American on Radio 4 this morning. He commented that having spent a day in the UK he has sensed a general apathy caused by the feeling that no matter what anyone does it won't affect the actions of the government. This is not so in the US where at least they have an election! It sounds true to me and I see it as a national depression. It's inevitable that the government will continue to do things that make my life more difficult and expensive to live.
Has the nation lost hope?

2004-09-17T18:52:00.000Z

I found the lyrics for the song I referred to in the last post (!!) but one:

Julie Miller
All my tears

when I go don`t cry for me
in my father`s arms i`ll be
the wounds this world left on my soul
will all be healed and I`ll be whole

sun and moon will be replaced
with the light of Jesus face
and I will not be ashamed
for my savior knows my name

It don`t matter where you bury me
I`ll be home and I`ll be free
It don`t matter where I lay
all my tears be washed away

gold and silver blind the eyes
temporary riches lie
come and eat from heavens store
come and drink and thirst no more

so weep not for me my friend
when my time below does end
for my life belongs to him
who will raise the dead again

It don`t matter where you bury me

Ecclesiastes

2004-09-16T13:42:00.000Z

A quote I noticed today:
For everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven. These things I have known since I was a young man in the faith. But somehow I am never ready.

End of an entrepreneur's road

2004-09-16T13:00:00.000Z

Just been to the funeral of a work acquaintance. He did quite well in business as a bit of an entrepreneur, but had no time for conventions or rules, so I liked him! The little crematorium at Chichester was packed - there were a few readings along the lines of 'I'm still floating around somewhere'', no prayers, bizarrely the singing of 'Morning has broken', a supposed e-mail from the deceased including all his favourite sayings and a reading of the Peter Cook monologue about the man who invented the wheel.
Apart from the sobbing it was all quite nice and friendly. The thing that took me unawares was the very definite feeling that God was there in some tangible way. Now I don't think the deceased had any belief whatsoever in God, but maybe God believed in him? Maybe God was there for the mourners? Maybe he was giving me a nudge, but he was definitely there.
At the end the John Lennon song Imagine was played. That song is, I believe, a very profound expression of the heart of God. I don't think there was supposed to be a separation between God and us. I don't think there was supposed to be a hell. Every time I hear that song I feel a twinge of sadness that it isn't how John Lennon imagined it to be.
When the time comes for my funeral I want the Julie Miller/Emmy Lou Harris song All My Tears Be Washed Away to be played. It starts with "When I die, don't cry for me; in my Father's arms I'll be.." and the rest of it's just as good. The tune's pretty good too.
With all my wittering about church and services and such, it can't be denied that at a time like this people want to gather and mark the occasion with a bit of religion, even if they don't believe in God. Gatherings seem to need a sense of occasion.

Purpose Driven Commercialism

2004-09-09T14:15:00.000Z

Having written about Grand Schemes and hinted at my dislike of the Rick Warren philosophy as espoused in his "Purpose Driven....." series of books, I discover that churches around the country are participating in a "40 Days of Purpose" campign based on the "Purpose Driven Life" book.
I came across this in a review:
"And then, of course, there’s the whole “40 Days of Purpose” marketing campaign. While much of this may be the brainchild of the publisher (rather than the author), there is still something a bit unnerving about a book title that includes a registered trademark. Purpose Driven is no longer just a life motto, it is a corporate slogan. Log on to Zondervan’s Web site and you’ll find a host of Purpose Driven paraphernalia—from wall hangings to Bible covers."
This ties in with some thoughts I had recently after receiving a Christian media magazine through the post. So many CDs, videos, books - all Christian!!! All with their price tag!!! It's as if being a Christian means you have to have a spending power commensurate with all the stuff that gets pumped out of the publishers every month. I remember reading Keith Green's biography and being struck by the time when he decided that if his recordings of worship music were truly a form of worship then it would be immoral to charge for them, so he gave them away. This is why I have a problem with "Alpha" courses - they are making a church rich. Basically I find the commercialism attached to "Christian" media repulsive. I know people will say that these folks have to live, but maybe I disagree with people making their living out of such things. Maybe they ought to have a proper job making tents or something if they need money to live. Where this leaves church ministers I don't know; maybe I'm wondering why we need them as well! Comments welcome.

Grand Schemes

2004-09-08T11:36:00.000Z

Looking at Ecclesiastes recently makes me think about Grand Schemes - those things that seem so vitally important at the time! On reflection very few of them actually count for much despite the effort and worry that went into them at the time. I think it's true of projects invented by churches, but they serve another purpose - that of occupying (and therefore keeping) the members.
I have a vague recollection of a comedian who used the phrase 'What's the bloody point' as a sort of middle name; sums up Ecclesiastes really. However there's a big but (all jokes already made). Behind it all and in spite of it all there's still God. I've always had the suspicion that God was quite capable of inconveniencing and energising large numbers of people to get one thing across to the benefit of just one person. Maybe our view of Grand Schemes should be in the light of this. Maybe there's not a point, maybe there's not a point that we can see, but maybe that's not the point!!!!
Before we get too convoluted maybe I'm trying to say that asking 'What's the bloody point?' is pointless in itself. Not everything has to have a purpose! Don't get me started on Rick Warren, but I wonder if just 'being' is valid, doing something because it 'seems right at the time' is OK, and much of our frustration with life is because of constantly trying to find the 'point'.

Daughters Pt2

2004-07-23T13:54:00.000Z

If anyone has ever suggested that my daughter(s) have turned out ok, I have always had to admit that I have no idea why. I have at times suggested that it's the luck of the draw (depending on the listener this sometimes doesn't go down too well). I have even wondered at times if my good fortune is related to God not trusting me with a difficult child, knowing I would screw it up.
Reading the article referred to in the previous post, maybe I have more of an inkling. If asked for advice nowadays I would probably suggest that the one important thing with daughters (I can't comment on sons due to lack of experience) is to love them.
Then love them some more.
If difficulties arise love them even more.
Love them for who they are, not what they can become.
Love who they become as they grow, and love that person more than the one they were before.
Tell them you love them, no, even better, show them you love them.
When you have an argument, stand up for your principles.
Then give in.
Show them that your relationship with them is more important than your principles.
Be yourself, not the person you think they want you to be.
Don't tell them what God is like.
Show them what God is like.
Take their advice.
Recognise their talents and let them use them in the home.
If it goes wrong, don't pretend it's all ok, but give them the space to tell you that it's gone wrong (they'll know!).
Then love them, hug them, rub their feet, pick them up from their outings at midnight, be their servant.
Don't expect anything back. Don't ever be resentful because you have expectations.
When you get something back, go over the top in appreciation because you are genuinely over the top appreciative.
Then love them - for ever.

Daughters

2004-07-22T07:50:00.000Z

I have 3 daughters. I think every father or potential father should read this.

The Nature of the Church

2004-07-19T11:48:00.000Z

OK, grand title, but what do I mean? I hope this will be a series of posts trying to develop thoughts that have been simmering a while.
This last weekend some friends (including members of my family) took a bunch of teenagers (mostly not church-goers) on a youth camp run by a national organisation for which I have great respect. They were expected to attend meetings that were designed to present the gospel in a 'talk'. The talk was at the end of a one and a half hour meeting, including two sessions of 'worship', i.e. lots of singing Christian songs. Why ensure that boredom is entrenched before getting to the real point of the whole thing? This made me admit some of the following thoughts....
I begin to think that the church (as it now exists) is an alien sub-culture with a limited life. Where is the justification for owning buildings, arranging meeting after meeting, and concentrating on self-preservation? Some have recognised a social trend and are beginning to investigate others way of being church, leading to such phrases as 'emergent church', 'alt-worship', etc. I have tried to be a part of this but have neither seen nor demonstrated the commitment necessary to make it work. Mostly it leads to putting on a multi-media version of a church service, avoiding the more cringe-worthy singing and patronising lectures. An add-on, or alternative, is usually a discussion-based meeting often focussing on previously taboo subjects, or putting a new slant on traditional topics. This avoids some of the cultural problems with the traditional church but I still have to ask 'So what's the difference?'. In essence it's the same thing re-packaged, in much the same way that churches have tried 'seeker-friendly' services, but taking it a little further and meeting the cultural needs of the instigators.
I have to ask myself 'In what way am I making a real difference in this world?'. The answer is. sadly, none. In seeking a different form of church I suspect I am following a diversion. I found a tv programme outlining the story of William Booth challenging. Many others have made a difference, often with no-one noticing during their lifetime. Right now I am not. Is the answer to give up everything and go somewhere the need is acute, and any help is better than none? Should I sign up to some missionary/aid organisation? Should I get involved with some sort of community work? Maybe, but I suspect that this lies somewhere at the base of my dissatisfaction. I don't think any form of church, alternative or otherwise, will solve this one.
Maybe it's the emphasis that's wrong. Maybe we shouldn't be worrying about meetings, buildings, projects, styles of presentation, etc. Maybe Jesus had something to say about it when he spoke of sacrifice, losing one's life in order to find it, having nowhere to lay his head, not defending himself, not thinking where the next meal's coming from, preferring others, and just simply dying for love.
I've run out of steam; maybe all this is just for me, not for you or the church in general. Let's hope it goes somewhere.

Loneliness

2004-07-16T07:45:00.000Z

I was struck by a comment from a friend that someone he knew was asked if he was lonely. His reply was that there was no possibility of loneliness as he knew Jesus.
Now, on the one hand, I'm very impressed by that as it speaks of a depth of faith and relationship rarely encountered these days. On the other hand I am slightly disturbed by it. I know that those imprisoned for their faith and kept in solitary confinement (Richard Wurmbrand being a classic example) often experience such a depth of relationship with God that sustains them through such trials. There is also the Biblical record of creation speaking of that relationship being inadequate in normal circumstances, hence the creation of both sexes and inevitable procreation.
Yes, I want that sort of relationship with Jesus - but I don't want to live in an isolationist society where the infirm, elderly or embarrassing are tucked away in effective solitary confinement. I also don't want to put myself out to create the sort of society I want, despite the fact that I have the feeling that I'll want that society more as the years roll on.

Titles

2004-07-12T16:15:00.000Z

Just wondering if post titles help.

2004-07-12T15:26:00.000Z

New template installed! I started looking at how to get e-mailed when someone left a comment and ended up changing the whole template. Easier on the eyes I think. I'll probably leave a comment just to see if the facility works properly.

2004-07-06T13:30:00.000Z

Well, here we are again!
It's been very busy so no time to think, but here's a thought:
It's been repeated over the years that we sin because we're sinners, not the other way around, i.e. we sin because it's in our nature to sin. If that's the case then it's not really my fault, it's a case of an inherited fault.
Now I know this has been debated over the centuries by theologians and the like, but it's all too complicated. I want it to be simple like all the other things I've not understood until they become simple enough. I'm OK with accepting blame and the need for repentance, really I am! I know me and am quite willing to accept my tencency to sin and to accept that it's my fault. The thing that seems wrong is the thought that it might not be my fault, so is this whole original sin thing wrong? Is it possible to be in a position when I don't tend to sin (other than being dead)?
Nothing to get wound up about, doesn't affect the way I live, but sometimes I just wonder.....

2004-06-09T12:52:00.000Z

Last night we got to the chapter in Calvary Road that talks about Fellowship. Apparently a very Christian sub-culture word unless (as Paul pointed out) you're a fan of Lord of the Rings. It was speaking about loving one another and I can't help feeling this is a lot more and a lot deeper than putting up with people you don't like. I think it's actually loving one another. By this shall people know that you are followers of Jesus! If people notice then it's got to be noticeable. Confession to one another is interesting, and a level of appropriateness has to be applied, but surely it's about honesty. How can anyone love me unless they know the real me? How can they know the real me unless I am honest about my failings as well as the bits I want people to know about? As soon as you get into the details of this however you start asking about procedure and the heart of it disappears. I guess you only know how to do it when you're actually doing it.
In the light of this I begin to ask myself why I can no longer cope with attending Sunday church services. I could come up with all sorts of reasons that relate to other people and processes, but ultimately it comes down to me. Why can't I take a couple of hours to find out what other Christians are doing and thinking? Why can I not force myself to go along with an order of things pre-defined by someone else? Why can I not seek to find meaning in a group of people hoping that they're worshipping God? Even in asking the questions I'm trying to phrase them such that it doesn't seem that it's me who's the problem. I find myself hoping that it really doesn't matter, that I'm not really worried about it.

2004-06-03T11:24:00.000Z

Wedding Anniversary today! 32 years of being married - surely enough for anyone?
Anyway, just to encourage those of more tender years I want to let you know that it is possible to stay in love with the same person for that long. Not that everything is easy or straightforward, but it's possible. Sometimes it takes an effort of will, sometimes it involves sacrifice (not human or animal) and sometimes it seems like life couldn't possibly be better.
Maybe I've been fortunate; not everyone would put up with me, but I'm certainly grateful.
Heather, you will always be the most beautiful girl I've ever met.

2004-05-17T09:00:00.000Z

Half-way through reading a book titled "The Heavenly Man" about a Chinese christian who suffered horrific and extended torture, many times to the brink of death. I am struck by the way the miraculous becomes part of everyday life in these circumstances. Dreams, visions, superhuman endurance, impossible escapes, etc. are all reported and in the circumstances are perfectly believable.
I know many people who long for the 'effects' but is there a price to pay? Is it all the wrong way round? I don't know anyone who longs to be imprisoned, beaten up, electrocuted and starved.
Why do we want such things? Is it to bolster our faith? Is it that fragile?
What of those who stand on a platform in their expensive suits, transported by their limousines and supported by their huge bank accounts,proclaiming to the faithful that such prosperity is their God-given right? The miraculous is their stock-in-trade to prove the validity of their ministry.
And so God weeps for His people.

2004-05-13T08:10:00.000Z

We've started going through the book "The Calvary Road"by Roy Hession. The first chapter is titled "Brokenness" and speaks of death of self, sparking questions along the lines of 'being taken advantage of'.
I haven't heard such a theme being spoken of much lately, but know that this book has marked a turning point in many a Christian life. Am I stiff-necked or am I willing to become a worm for Christ?
Comments welcome.

2004-05-06T08:40:00.001Z

2 posts in one day after the long silence!
Just heard that a colleague who was due to retire next month has had a heart attack and is in intensive care. Makes me reflect further on the whole business of worrying. He had put a lot of effort into preapring for his retirement and was financially secure. What's it worth now?

2004-05-06T08:40:00.000Z

Well I've been a bit busy including a week in the USA, so no posts to the blog for a while.
My week in the USA was very helpful to me. I travelled with a chap who is very rich. At the end of the week I was just so glad to be me.
I had begun to worry about pensions and things, but there's no answer these days. If I end up destitute in my old age I would still rather be me, so no more worrying! I remember reading something about today having enough to deal with, without worrying about tomorrow or the day after.
Another thought that seems to have become prominent if a little obvious is that there is only any perspective in life when there is sadness. Strangely enough it relates to attempts to introduce a company car policy. We don't have one where I work, and I've been trying to suggest that we should. What happens is that everyone wants a better car than their previous one. Where does it all end? It rather reflects the Western method of prayer - we ask for things, then when we get them we want more or better. When do we ask for sadness so that we may have a true perspective?

2004-03-05T10:29:00.000Z

I have been conducting an e-mail correspondence with my niece who lives in California. She is visiting this country and agreed to come and share the story of her spiritual journey with a few friends the other evening. The story is of suffering violence as a child and of being able to see (and feel) spiritual entities. Her struggle to come to terms with the fear experienced has led her into seeking ways of dealing with the very real spiritual maifestations. Various people have been of help to her on the way, none of whom have been conventional Christians. Her language, therefore, smacks of the new age being littered with terms such as 'energies', 'karma', 'reincarnation', 'aura', etc. Most of this would make the traditional evangelical recoil in horror and search for the nearest exorcist.
I was interested to note that in some instances simply changing the words would make the story acceptable to the average Christian. Becky and Mark talk about this a little.
I've read most of the books by Christian authors that warn against all of the practices related by Danielle. I am concerned for her. The funny thing is that I can't get worked up about it. I have asked God to show me how to deal with this and I trust Him in His ability to do that. The important thing seems to be to keep the dialogue going, but I'm running out of questions to ask. The fundamental thing on which we disagree is that she believes that Jesus is just another enlightened human being, albeit the most powerful. I have to find ways to express (I don't feel the need to justify) my belief in His uniqueness and divinity. This, of course, is the fundamental point of divergence for most cults, etc. Her experience of the spiritual is extreme and came out of her need to control the fear that was generated by such things as hauntings. My spiritual experience is no less real but comes from a desire to commune with God and His reaction to that desire. It's interesting to be in a situation where I really don't know how to react, except that I'm reasonably convinced that all the teaching I had in the past is of no use in this situation.

2004-02-19T09:11:00.000Z

Another week has gone by and so has Colossians 2. It's full of things like 'stop fussing and get on with it', 'don't get caught up in endless arguments and details', don't get hidebound by religious rules', 'you know what it's all about so just get on and live it'. Forgive the paraphrasing but that's how I understand it!
I do want to live it, and I hope that in some way I do. It would be nice if the 'living it' were much more up front and vital though.
We discussed the bit that says the universe is empty without Christ. Does that mean that people without Christ experience that emptiness constantly? I'm not so sure about that; the people I know who have shown no interest in him are not constantly searching for some relief to this emptiness, they're much too busy living their lives, often doing a lot of good where they can in the process. In the past Christianity has been proposed as an answer to 'God-shaped holes' (oh dear!) implying that the emptiness is universally experienced. Is it true? What is the attraction of Christianity? In crude terms how do you sell it? My suspicion is that God seeks people out (several biblical references spring to mind); this results in a longing, a desire, even an emptiness (i.e. a feeling) causing people to search for information to explain what's happening to them in order to make an appropriate response. If this is so then it contributes to the objectivity/subjectivity debate as it's a case of the subjective being the instigator. Perhaps I'm getting lost in endless arguments and details so I'll stop there.

2004-02-16T14:03:00.000Z

Last Wednesday was the inaugural meeting of the reconstituted THIRD, or 3a, but let's not worry about what we call it! Suffice to say that 6 of us met and had a good time looking at Colossians ch1, chatting and praying.
The phrase "Christ is in you" was noticed in Colossians and it was interesting to ponder for a moment what it meant. No serious conclusion was reached. It can't mean Jesus is in you, as a body can't exist inside another body, and he's only got one anyway. If it had meant the Holy Spirit is in you then surely that is what it would have said.
Two comments from friends have been helpful. One suggests we compare it with the thought that elsewhere we are stated to be in Christ - an interesting duality! Another commented that he had heard that 'Christ' isn't Jesus' surname, it's his job (as in John the cooper etc.). So if Christ is in us, it's the very essence of why he came and what he accomplished that is in us. The outcome of his death and resurrection is in us. Redemption is in us. I'm interested in Mark's comments about subjectivity and objectivity in this regard, but the essence of what it is to be called the Christ being in me sounds pretty good.

2004-02-06T16:03:00.000Z

Well, on Wednesday we had a celebration meal to mark what I have called the end of Chapter 1 as far as THIRD is concerned. 14 of us turned up at a Chinese restaurant - it seemed very natural and was a good way to mark the occasion; the food was very good value as well.
I am not disappointed, it just seems right somehow. I am delighted that 6 of us have decided to regroup and meet together to see where it goes from here. Our first meeting of Chapter 2 (or possibly 3a) is next Wednesday and I am looking forward to it.
Thanks to everyone who has been involved in my life through THIRD over the past year and x months, you remain very important to me.

2004-02-04T08:59:00.000Z

Quoted in an "Emergent" newsletter:

The primary reason I ever attend a church service (or frankly, even have serious or long conversations with Christians) is the hope that I will hear something proclaimed out of heaven, something that carries the majesty, the revelation, the heart and breath of G od. I want my heart to burn with a word from Heaven. I want to hear something which rumbles through the corridors of His chamber and then creates a sonic boom when it enters my "earth space." I am not interested in a 3-point guide for living or recycled Oprah or political perspectives or even a Bible study or exploring "styles of worship." And, I'm not looking for more apologetics and theology.

2004-02-03T12:30:00.000Z

The following quote is from Alan Jamieson talking about "Post-church groups":

But they are not static places. The people in these groups have no desire that the groups should become institutionalised like the churches they have left. Rather they are groups that exist for as long as they are meaningful and helpful to the core group of people who make them up and give energy to them, and when that ceases then they end. That ending is not seen as failure, but as the opportunity for members to form - or link up with - other groups, and make other connections with people of like faith.

Seems to be pretty much what's happening with THIRD, except that we are privileged to have a "post-church" group within and with the backing of a church!

2004-02-02T10:49:00.000Z

Just beginning to have a few thoughts following on from a previous post. I wonder if some of the problems we have in trying to understand the relationship between God / Creation / Us are due to the tendency to view creation as something other than God, i.e. it's something He made. If I can stretch the Adam and Eve analogy a little (I begin to think it is a multi-faceted analogy by the way) creation would be something that came out of God, or it is in fact a part of Him, and remains a part of Him.
I've never been able to accept, for example, that God exists outside of time, and in this scenario time becomes an expression of part of God's character. It does not limit Him or control Him, it's just a part of the way He has expressed Himself in creation.

2004-01-29T11:51:00.000Z

Last night we had a meeting that was really deciding if Third will continue. The conclusion was that a retraction to a small group was the favourite short-term measure, involving some of those present. Funnily enough I am excited at the prospect! Excitement and enthusiasm have been lacking in my make-up for a while, which is odd because I am basically a passionate sort of bloke. God is into resurrection, and I sense something of that in what we're doing. I don't want to lose the networks that are beginning to prove useful and challenging. I don't want to lose the missiological (I'm told that's the word!) potential of alternative forms of church. I want to see what comes out of something born in the heart of God (told you I was feeling enthisiastic!). I want somewhere I can be what God has made me. I want to provide a place where people can receive respect and be challenged at the same time.
We'll see.

2004-01-27T16:07:00.000Z

Here's a fledgling thought or two:
There's a lot of fuss about women in church circles. Us blokes are happy to let them run our lives in all other respects but there still seems to be this authority thing in churches. (Sorry guys if you hadn't realised that we are controlled by women, maybe it's wisdom borne of age that's coming through here!)
Isn't it odd (even obscure) that Eve came from Adam's rib?
Where have all the pagan references to Mother Earth come from?
If God is the Father then who is the Mother? If there is no Mother then the term Father has no meaning.
Isn't it interesting that creation is still creating? Growth, life, new ideas, etc. are still going on.
What if the pagans had it nearly right and the christians got scared? What if the mother in the story is creation itself?
What if Adam and Eve form a sort of allegory of God emitting (better word needed) a creation (Eve) which then continues the creating process having been sort of fertilised?
What if the term Father implies a relationship rather than an authority - a continuous caring and overseeing and loving and protecting?
What if we could solve all these problems relating to what we allow women to do (such arrogance!) by understanding that it's all about relationship rather than authority?

2004-01-27T09:19:00.000Z

Does anyone actually read this stuff? Add a comment if you don't mind, then I'll know whether I'm doing this for my own amusement or whether the stuff is of any interest to anyone.
Latest instalment of "Purpose Driven church" says that most people who attend a Sunday morning service are feeling Stiff, Tired, and Reserved. If you are in the habit of attending Sunday morning services I have to ask you to stop it - Stiff, Tired and Reserved are getting pretty fed up with it.

2004-01-26T13:38:00.000Z

Well, it seems it does! If you want to try it out, use something like BottomFeeder and click on the link called Site Feed on the blog, or copy this URL
http://peterking.blogspot.com/atom.xml
to add the feed.

2004-01-26T13:26:00.000Z

I'm trying to get site feeds working. This post is just to see if it will!

2004-01-23T09:23:00.000Z

A friend lent me a book entitled "The Purpose Driven Church". I have been reading it through my wife as an interpreter - i.e. she's been reading it in bed and telling me when an interesting bit crops up. This probably says something about our marriage, but let's not go there for now!
Much of it makes me squirm, but the thing that strikes me most is the assumption that the purpose of a church is to grow. I can accept that my faith in God is a good thing and would love others to have a good thing, especially the most important good thing, however the thought of a church planning all its activities in the light of growth causes me to recoil.
I suspect that the theory is wrong, but I also suspect that the practice is wrong. The theory because once a church gets beyond a certain size (50? 100?) it becomes impersonal and much effort needs to be expended to maintain the structure and artificial means are employed to make people feel personally cared for. These structures all tend to have the hidden (or not) agenda of growth and the purpose subtly changes to supporting the structures. The practice (at least in this country) is suspect because I just don't see the growth coming from people without a church background. I suspect that even though there is the growth agenda it is actually aimed at people who are culturally pre-conditioned to church structures.
So what? you say, and I might agree with you. The thing is I have a heart felt desire to be part of something where the purpose is to be, and to celebrate being - to be what God has made me to be and to see what happens. To wonder at the diversity of what he has made others to be, to love and to be loved, to do the things that seem right, however apparently radical and to accept the result. To wonder and be surprised.
Ah well!

2004-01-21T11:50:00.000Z

See Barky's blog for his decision to leave THIRD, which has been our expression of church. It is yet to be decided whether THIRD will continue to exist. If it does not, it leaves me in an interesting position - I find it impossible to force myself into the traditional church mould. Comments about buckling down, etc. are not welcome here, as integrity is at stake. I happen to believe this is the way God has led my life over the past few years with much realignment and heartache. So where do we go from here? I suspect the answer will not be straightforward and will involve more realignment and probably more heartache.

2004-01-05T12:24:00.000Z

I seem to have been too busy to bother with the blog just lately, but here are a few thoughts for what they're worth:
Busyness is the major limiting factor in our lives these days. Just try arranging a meeting involving more than 2 people. Why is this? Is it to do with greed? Is it that there is a cultural expectation on us to be doing something all the time? Are we just not comfortable in our own company? What is the product of this busyness? Is our quality of life so much better as a result of it? I don't know.
I met some people this last weekend who encouraged me. The first was someone who has started and is successfully running a project to help people with disabilities in Cambodia. The second was some friends who have moved to an estate in the North of England and who are just trusting God to make it all work out for the community work and church they intend to start. I'm encouraged because these things are working out. I'm encouraged because these people have hope.

2003-11-04T10:07:00.000Z

Well, I've survived the operation! I didn't enjoy the night after when I couldn't have any pain relief for two and a half hours because they couldn't find a doctor!!
So the recovery begins, at the moment very painful and uncomfortable.
Reeling from the news that Mike Yaconelli was killed in a car crash. Why is it always the good guys?

2003-10-29T17:13:00.000Z

It's Wednesday and I'm due to go to hospital tomorrow for an operation that threatens to be rather uncomfortable. If things go as expected, of course, there'll be a delay and I'll spend most of the day hanging around waiting. We'll see!

2003-10-17T11:51:00.000Z

Thought I had found a shrine to the current trend of mobile working, but they just wanted to sell me some stamps.

2003-10-16T12:36:00.000Z

Met a man who described himself to me. I thought he was in sympathy with feminist ideals in our post-modern world, but he just wanted to give me some letters.

2003-10-09T13:02:00.000Z

Thoughts on 2nd discussion on spirituality last night:
We were trying to define what we believe and categorise those beliefs into 3 categories:
What would be worth dying for?
What is pretty important?
What is not that important?
Having blown my mind in trying to think if eternal life is worth dying for(!!) I began to consider that everything I believe is only an approximation anyway. A bit like when I studied physics and once I understood anything, someone went and found yet another particle (or whole layer of particles). My belief in God is a belief in someone about whom I am trying to discover things. Once I think I've got it cracked then I discover that God is a lot bigger than I imagined. I'm sure of a very few things, maybe they go something like this:
* God exists
* I don't understand God
* If I did understand God then he wouldn't be worthy of the title
* God accepts me and loves me and is interested in me
* God relates to me through a complex structure involving the holy spirit and Jesus
* I don't need to understand that structure
* Existence is more than just physical
* Death is a milestone on a journey
* I can trust God

That's rather more than I expected to put on the list, but none of those things depend on my understanding them.
I think there is a difference between knowing and believing. Beliefs tend to come from the intellectual. I tend to think that 'knowledge' in this area comes from what might be termed a spiritual interaction. I would say that I know that God exists, because that comes from something deep within me. It's not something that someone cleverer than I could argue me out of. It's almost as if denying the existence of God would be denying something that defines my existence.
I like to think that Adam and Eve actually existed because it's a model I can work with and from which I can develop ideas. If someone were to come up with incontrovertible evidence to the contrary I would be happy to start working with a different model. There is not that within me that says they had to exist. Allegory is just as useful a model to me as history in aiding my thinking about God.
Next session in a month.

2003-10-08T12:22:00.000Z

Came across this quote:
'A fool chooses to starve himself and we all watch, One billion people have no choice and we ignore them.'"

2003-10-08T12:00:00.000Z

Went to Winchester and looked round the cathedral. It's usually interesting to visit such places but often they are cold and lonely places. Yesterday was one of several days when Winchester cathedral hosts various school groups. All round the building were activity points with children being taught and being invovled in things, including dressing up as monks! This created a completely different atmosphere - the place was alive and felt welcoming and exciting. One of the stewards asked me if I had been able to see what I wanted to see with all the distractions. It was the 'distractions' that made the visit for me.

2003-10-02T08:07:00.000Z

And here's the second:

LOLLIPOPS

Church is like a lollipop :
you can choose your flavour.
But one thing you must never choose :
your own particular saviour.
Churches can be big or small,
lollipops are too.
It doesn't matter which you choose :
it's really up to you.
Lollies have a stick up them,
churches they just don't.
Sinners get a lot of stick :
conform and then you won't!
If you decide to eat your lolly
hanging in the attic,
The church will not put up with it,
unless it's charismatic.
As icy pieces drop right down,
they will make your belly-cool.
And church will do the same to you -
if it's evangelical.
When you buy your lollipop
it will have a cover,
Will you dare to take it off,
be honest with one another?
Lollipops left in the heat-
they just melt away.
The church, oh it was born in passion,
.........where's it gone today?

2003-10-02T08:03:00.000Z

We had a 'communion' meal last night when we were supposed to bring a story or poem or something. In a moment of desperation I dug out some poems I had written some years ago. Nick has insisted I post them here. I do so somewhat reluctantly but am used to doing as I'm told! If you notice elements of plagiarism they are entirely intentional.
Here's the first:

Love Me Do!
(Alt. title: Ontology)

How do I love Thee? Let me count the ways:
I go to church on Sunday, and several other days.
I read my Bible every night, & often kneel to pray,
Then I witness to my neighbour, & he listens to what I say.
I divide my money into tens, & keep back nine for me,
Then I follow Biblical instruction & offer one to Thee.
I buy some very expensive meat & make it look quite nice,
Then I invite the vicar round, & serve him it with rice.
The lady who lives next door is old, & can't get to the shops,
So I take my carrier bag with me, & buy her tripe & chops.
My level of activity must surely show to all
That I love Thee very much, as much as did St. Paul.
I know it doesn't match the love You showed to me,
But mine is more practical, the love I have for Thee.
I know You came, I know You died, for me You gave Your life,
I can't do any of that, it's not fair on my wife!
What's that You say? You want my all, my money & my heart?
That all sounds so hard to me, I don't know where to start.
I think I'll go on loving Thee the way I have so far,
I'll even offer lifts to church within my brand new car.
If I had to give my all, to carry a cross for You,
You see I simply wouldn't know just what I had to do!

2003-09-24T11:21:00.000Z

Just trying out the Google toolbar 'Blog This' button.Google Toolbar Help Index

2003-09-18T10:20:00.000Z

Some thoughts following a discussion last night about spitituality:

Is it possible that some knowledge of loss/pain/grief is essential to spirituality?
Why did God make Man? Does this indicate some insufficiency in the Trinity? Is that insufficiency related to loss/pain etc. and is that why Man became essential to God, a spiritual being?
All sorts of things flow from the answers to those questions. Anyone got any thoughts?

2003-09-11T13:05:00.000Z

Here's a useful link to an article on Do All Things Really Work Together for the Good?

2003-08-11T13:01:00.000Z

Having just returned from an excellent holiday in the French Alps (a village called Chatel near lake Geneva) I include a reflection written as I sat on the balcony of the chalet we rented.

Holiday Reflection 2003
I sit on the balcony of an alpine chalet. The sky is blue and wisps of cloud amble across lazily. Before me mountains rise with trees growing at a ridiculous angle. Lines of grass appear where the trees haven’t managed to grow. The sun is warm and the breeze pleasant.
To close ones eyes to pray would be a sin. What would I ask for? All that God has given is laid out before me. If the purpose of my prayer is to listen to God, then my eyes have become my listening organs. His speech is too large for my ears; were He to say all this with words my eardrums would not survive.
When did prayer become something to be conducted in silence and darkness? Could it be that we have constructed a form of living that opposes the sights and sounds that speak of the creator? Could it be that we have to shut out that which we have made in order to sense the created……or the creator? Could it be that our search for God is in actuality a journey away from things rather than a journey to Him? We say that God is everywhere, yet we still have to search for Him – why?
At this moment our everyday lives seem like a microcosm existing beneath the reality of the created. It is reached through a wormhole and consists of scurrying around in the darkness searching for that which makes no overall difference. Major triumphs in this microcosm are but the tiniest grain of sand in the real. The things we strive for and ask God for are a little less than meaningless.
Tragedy alone transcends the boundary. A cry of anguish or bereavement echoes around the mountainside, is heard and receives a response. At such times a clarity of vision is achieved such that the trivia of our lives adopt their proper place. The immovable, the eternal, that which is of God comes into focus.
The mountains speak of a power far beyond our control. They require submission, respect, preparation. They encourage life, but pose a threat to the life of the unwary. Those who ascend to the summit are guaranteed their reward.
The mountains speak of God.

2003-07-09T12:05:00.000Z

I came across this - I must have written it a while ago, but it still seems to hold some relevance:

The Games We Play

I have been convinced that most of the activity associated with church is, in fact, a game. Stand up, sit down, say the words, adopt the posture, attend the meetings, play the game. Mostly you can get by just fine in the church community playing by the rules. No-one ever writes them down, you just learn them by observation, you conform. Relationships within the church are very deep and meaningful – until you break one of the rules of the game. Sin is ok, there’s a defined route back from sin, but not from breaking the unwritten rules. You become a risk, unpredictable, a wild card. Predictability is the Holy Grail of the game. Move from one tradition (denomination) to another and you see the game being played with subtle differences. Those who espouse freedom of worship are, in some ways, the most predictable. Certain elements will always be present and the rules of the game demand the right responses from the players. Fail to give those responses and you run the risk of being offered ‘ministry’.
Does it matter? I think it does, but it only matters because the players don’t realise they are in the game. Authenticity demands an acknowledgement that the game is being played, and an acknowledgement that it doesn’t have to be played. Authenticity demands an acknowledgement that reality has its existence outside the game.
The game is so subtle that those players who begin to see the fact of the game and decide to break free, simply start another game with the rules slightly skewed. Another set of acceptable behaviour. Another set of appropriate responses.
Why does the game exist? I think it is because we have an inbuilt need to relate to God, and the act of relating has become so unnatural for us that we need a form of behaviour that is guaranteed to cause it to occur. The game provides an environment and a forum in which we can show each other that we are relating to God. Outside the game we are cast adrift with no anchor, no reference points and no way to measure whether or not we are relating to God. In the game we are reassured.
The question I ask is this: within the game, is that relationship with God real? Or is it a relationship with the game? The problem is that those caught up in the game have no way of measuring reality – it has become embodied in the game. To obtain some form of objectivity it is necessary to stop playing the game, but within the game there are long term consequences for those who stop playing. Dialogue with those who refuse to play is difficult because the game has conditioned responses for non-players.

2003-06-30T15:39:00.000Z

I've been forced into studying the New Age thing again in order to keep up with some correspondence from a relative. The reality of spiritual experience of people involved in the various branches of New Age philiosophy is stunning! The lack of spiritual experience in the Christian realm is equally stunning. How can we compete in this arena? What is the point of spiritual experience?
I'm reading two books: Living Magically: A New Vision of Reality, by Gill Edwards and Inside the New Age Nightmare, by Randall Baer. The first was recommended by my relative, and the second by a Christian who has studied and experienced New Age philosophies. Hopefully I'll be able to see it from both viewpoints.
Comments welcome.

2003-06-27T12:23:00.000Z

I've added the ability to comment on posts, so looking forward to the first real one. Guess I'll have to post something interesting first!

2003-06-26T15:39:00.000Z

Hello again Blog, sorry I've neglected you lately.
My middle daughter is getting married in 3 weeks, and my youngest daughter has just finished her GCSE exams, so it's a bit of an emotional nightmare at the moment. Still, I've got a holiday in the French alps a week after the wedding.
Thoughts at the moment follow a much needed weekend in the highlands (I had to work for one morning, but the rest of the weekend was free). Many years ago my wife and I spent a couple of weeks staying with her uncle in his croft north of Inverness. The lifestyle was so simple and was largely based around the large Aga cooker! His life was mainly taking the sheep up onto the hills and bringing them back again. The BBC news formed his entertainment, at which he tutted and sighed quite a lot. He tried very hard to avoid travelling to the "big town" (i.e. village!) down the road because the pace of life there was too fast.
I guess not that many years ago everyone's life was similar to this. I guess their expression of Christianity was just as valid as anything we come up with nowadays. So what's with all the church 'stuff' we get into these days? What's with all this planning and strategy? What's with all this business methods stuff we import into our church life? Are we just stressing ourselves out unnecessarily?
What do you think? Send me an email and I'll post replies.

2003-03-11T13:40:00.000Z

Here is a meditation written for our Saturday evening event with a 'Wilderness' theme:

Welcome to the wilderness.

Welcome to the wilderness.
This is a place of material deprivation.
In the wilderness your means of support are stripped away.
You have no money.
No coins or notes in your pocket. There is nothing to buy – no shops, no food, no water in taps or bottles.
You have become poor. You are deprived.
To survive you have to rely on the rain and the land.
There is nothing you can do to provide for yourself, water is either there or it is not.
You can search for it but you cannot make it appear.
You have the clothes you arrived in. Eventually they will wear out.
Your shelter is a tree or a cave. They do not belong to you but you can use them.
You have no friends, no family.
There is no-one for you to rely on. You are alone.
Welcome to the wilderness.
This is a place of sensory enhancement.
Can you hear the wind? Does it whistle or does it howl?
Does it bring an unwelcome chill to the air or a refreshing coolness?
Is it night or is it day?
Do you long for the sun’s light or dread its unrelenting heat?
Do you fear the night and what may be hidden in the darkness or do you relish the chance to hide from the open spaces?
What can you smell? The dryness or the damp?
Can you smell plants or flowers?
Are there animals nearby?
Is there earth or sand between your toes? Does the ground feel sharp or smooth?
When you run are there rocks to cut your feet?
If you cut yourself how will you stop the bleeding?
If you fall how will you climb back up?
If you become sick who will tend you?
When you are tired where will you lay your head? A rock for a pillow?
Are there insects in your wilderness? Will they crawl over you?
Is your wilderness a place of fasting or will you eat the berries?
Will you try to catch an animal?
Will you try to light a fire?
You are alone. You have no-one to rely on. You can hear the wind, you can feel the ground beneath your feet, the sky stretches far above you, you can smell the plants.
You are very small in the vastness of the wilderness.
Just a speck.
Yet something or someone has been searching every corner of the wilderness. They know you’re there. They know you are very small, yet they search because you are of immense value.
The searcher knows the wilderness very well. He has been there. He understands the loneliness, the deprivation. He knows the cost of the wilderness.
A note of desperation enters his cry as he searches. His promise echoes to the heavens as he strives for its fulfilment: “I will never leave you nor forsake you”.
Are you scared? Do you feel like shrinking into the depths of your cave?
Or do you feel like running and running until you meet with the searcher?
Either way you know there is an inevitability about this search. The searcher will find you. You know it somewhere deep inside your being, yet still you don’t know whether to hide or to run.
The searcher approaches - very gently. As you would approach a small child tentatively stretching out your hand, so the searcher approaches you, and you know you have the option to refuse.
Words come into your head: “My beloved, come to me. Are you thirsty? I will give to you such that you will never thirst again. Are you weary? Are you laden with burdens too heavy to bear? I will take them and give you rest. I have promised never to leave you nor forsake you. Come to me.”
What will you do? The searcher has travelled great distances to find you, yet the last small step is up to you. The searcher is very close. Can you hear him? Can you feel his breath nearby? Can you hear the rustling of his clothes? What will you choose to do?
In the wilderness some find that for which they have been looking. They emerge renewed, enlightened, with a new perspective on life.
Others spend their wilderness as they spend everything else, in striving for what isn’t there, in wishing things were other than they are, in self-absorption.
How will you emerge from this wilderness? If you have met the searcher you will be changed, your eyes will have been opened. There will be freshness in your life. Your priorities will have changed. There will be a wellspring of love deep within you. Your life will become a simple act of worship.
If you have not met the searcher, there will be other wildernesses, other times. He will not stop searching, he will not stop loving and wanting you.
You can be sure that it is within the nature of the searcher to search,
for his name is Jesus.

2003-01-27T12:42:00.000Z

An extract from an article in Relevant Magazine

Our mission is no smaller than the early church’s, no less risky. Yet we have caved in. We have surrendered to large budgets, political power and persuasive rhetoric. In many respects, we have lost the core of our message: We are a community of ragged pilgrims, a simple band who understands that the Kingdom is not something we build “out there,” but it is something we live “in here.”

And so we gather. And we bemoan our culture and raise our funds so we can build our castles. We invoke biblical principles to move each other toward moral living. We offer words to the world, but we rarely offer our heart. We have strategy and books and cultural acumen. We are wealthy and educated and powerful. And the world is unmoved.

For we don’t share our lives together, praying lives or praying meals. And we don’t truly live together. And we don’t love.

And the world isn’t changed.

2003-01-23T08:47:00.000Z

We came up with a Statement of Faith, and it's shown below. You can ask why we need it, and what we're going to do with it, and so did we at some length, but there it is.
I accept that the final statement is a bit of an anomaly. The preceding statements are really thought of as non-negotiables, but the final one comes from two roots - one is that it's a reaction to many such statements that I find difficult to read without shouting or thumping the table. The other root is one of humility - I don't think we know all there is to know about God, and to think that we can tie Him down to such a form of words would be an extreme form of arrogance. I believe this statement says exactly the same as certain other 'Evangelical' statements, just in different words.
Feedback welcomed.

2003-01-23T08:39:00.000Z

Statement of Faith
• We believe in God who made the universe.
• Jesus is God in human form. Jesus’ death and resurrection made it possible for humans to have a relationship with God, which is pretty important.
• The Holy Spirit is a bit of a mystery for whom we're very grateful for making God real to us and in us.
• We don't naturally live how God would have us live. As God becomes real in us, however, we believe in the possibility of change.
• The Bible is a collection of stories, poetry and mystery inspired by God. It is useful for helping us to know God and how we are meant to live.
• The church is the gathering of believers.
• We live in hope that we will one day live fully in God's presence.
• We do not think we’ve got it right; therefore we regard this statement as subject to modification and correction. We value dialogue with those who seek to know God.

2002-12-23T10:26:00.000Z

The Christmas reflective service went very well last night. See Barky's blog for a few more details. I deliberately asked as many people as I could for feedback and it was all very positive. There is such a need for 'space' in this world. It seems to me that everyone's trying so hard to make Christmas special without quite knowing what would be special. There was a little confusion as people arrived - the church was quite dark and some thought it was closed! Others walked in and were confused by the setup as it wasn't obvious where to 'sit'. A little friendly direction did the trick though.
The important thing for me was that I met with God. My reaction to reading that would be to ask 'What do you mean?', but maybe that's something we can explore in the future. I just know that I received a reassurance along the lines of 'It's OK, it'll all work out in the end'.
I had a discussion with one person who was asking where the Holy Spirit fits into all of this (i.e. the ways of doing church that we are attempting to explore). I suppose one answer is everywhere, but the question echoed some of my thoughts of the past weeks. Maybe this is another subject we can address soon.
Merry Christmas to everyone!
(If you're reading this you're probably the sort of person whose mind is trying to analyse the deeper meaning of the word 'Merry' (or if you're really sad 'everyone'). Stop it and have fun!)

2002-12-20T11:30:00.000Z

It's been an interesting few days. Mad panic to produce a tender for a lot of equipment for an urgent requirement, then the deflation last night when we found out we're not getting the business. Still my team won our table tennis match last night which sort of makes up for it.
This Sunday night is a "quiet reflection" christmas do, and I need to read a meditation on the incarnation. As we didn't get the big order I won't have to rush off to the USA, and might have time to produce some images on Powerpoint to go with the words. That'll help a lot if I can. Also, I've produced a CD with an hour's worth of heartbeat from the womb, and another CD with Martin Wroe speaking "Flesh of our Flesh". All this and our cell group are very encouranging.
Some friends at another church have recently experienced a major split, and I have friends on both sides of the fence. The issues for some are major, and some are just puzzled, overall it's very sad. Listening to stories from both sides is extrememly confusing as they are mostly contradictory. I can only assume we're dealing with differing world views.
I long to hear from God. I know all the usual stuff people say to that, but I want to hear Him speak to me again - I don't care if it's like He's done before or in some other way. In the past there were steps I could have taken to 'encourage' Him to speak (probably to put me in the right frame of mind to hear, but there we go). Things have changed and those methods no longer seem relevant (or real), so I live with the longing.

2002-12-18T14:03:00.000Z

Well I wonder if this "Blog this" link actually works. I guess I'll see in a minute.

2002-12-18T12:59:00.000Z

Well, it's nearly Christmas and things are really hectic at work. I find this muddles my mind for other things. I'd like to be creative to contribute to a reflective Christmas do that some of us are supposed to be planning, but finding it very difficult when my mind is full of work-related issues all of which are urgent.